paradoxical

mask,
webs of deception
given up, liberated :D

A chapter has closed with a new chapter of life to begin. I will be my utmost, treating people good just like what dingping said. I must support people aspired from clinty and brian. I must be forgiving like what ck is. I will stay by the side of those fallen ones like how karyl did. Be as helpful as joel, be as gleeful as darren and wc. With induced illusions, i'm bent to forget the past and let go of that tremendous burden with my very new clear vision :) ty redha. My eyes are crystal clear now, i know what to do. I commit to my fullest carrying out those words that have always been hanging onto my lips. i must resume where i halted, be the person whom i long ago forgotten to be. so long :D, here i come....ARGHHH

damm.. must forget it though it is so unforgettable. rummaging for new purposes in existence

Let a chess set, any step moved will still result in great destruction.. forward, backward, diagonal will still suffer great loss. what should i do? escape from this game without a resolution O.O

Hello readers, long time no see as i was far abroad.. haha gong jiao wei only.

Friday
Had some ball games with many honourable pleasant twerps, there is NBA player, a US member, etc. Actually wanted to sleep, but was consistently annoyed by Wallace's phonecalls. hahaha but come to think of it, probably it wasnt a wasted trip. The time spent was fun. HAHA especially Eldred and Jasper's craps, steamed bun's impressive NBA style of playing (dongfangbubai, half moon, milkshake). Weijie bought a sex toy trouser for easy M_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ in BUGIS STREET? hahaha, after that most of the grp went home but before that, we had an enjoyable time watching a video clip (not porn), more amazing than that. Haha his style was akin to the wind- untraceable. His footsteps were uncountable and his destination of his ball shot was unpredictable like the wind. A person who claimed to have NBA background. hehehehe. Ya, Wallace had a frigging big blister, larger than kyuubi's dick? Eldred's fun to laugh with and Jasper's skills were fluctuating. WHY?(that's rhetorical question) because he EMO at some point of time, lol.. Izzat faced some discrimination and wallace suffered from a humongous blister, probably because teasing me and weijie about height issues. haha Aiyah etc. if i were to complete the entire stuffs abt the basketball, i will soon admire the rise of the Sun.

Later on, went for roti prata paradise for a good supper (many people to gl with, very entertaining) and chat after waiting abt 1hr plus? hahaha enjoyed during waiting, coz have many incidents to laugh at. I shared plenty of ghost stories and personal recount with weijie, Xuhui and dingping but they exploded into peal of laughters instead of the much anticipated fear imprinted of their faces, need to polish on my ghost stories liao. Isnt camera, break-out, possessing a dog and book, toilet trip a scary one? :(.. hahah Had some ideas of pranking-Temasek field hehe and cheers.

Supper was extremely relaxing, but everyone left pretty early. However, CK was there. That means another EASY TARGET to gl and own. haha SA hor..Haha talked crap (spoofs and a snake joke and miaoy's presence.. hehehehe) about 1-2hr and everyone leaves. I'm alone, i'm seeing everyone's back. One after another. My life is an epitome of loneliness and emo(hmm, out of a blue, xiang's face flashed through my mind, haha), i'm abandoned, the world is dark and it is devoid of love, OMG. I'm gonna slit my wrist with blade(not rusty one, in case i really die). Okay bye, slitting in progress.

Saturday
Made a choice to go tmart mac instead of a celebration. haha a little regretful of my choice (coz no free food with wide variety) but very relieve i made the right one (coz got many people to gl). Anyway, the largest regretful incident was to bet something foolish and gulp down a quirky liquid. For this part, i will explain it in greater detail. Played a chinese game with a late-comer, jojo who had poor sense of direction to make the right way. HAHA. Anyway, i lost. WHY? i shouldnt have lost if not for that dongfangbubai ck (jkjk) set the timer in 4min2s. Had the 1/2s not set, i would have won. And she would be the chosen one( one out of two million) to wolf down that retarded drink.It was because the moment she finished uttering her phrase, the freaking phone rang as if it's anxious to see me falling into ruin and insults? haha maybe not, as long as it was an enjoyable time for everyone, it's worth it. Awww, dun be touched. And SOMEONE, FOR CONVENIENCE SAKE- NICHIAMIN, pelt one or two lime into the "BIG GULP" out of convenience and i had to suffer. I... I.. finally managed to suck up a mouthful of the drink which comprises of sotong, lime, lemon, atar seed?, thick beehoon, yellow mee, ice, etc(sorry if didnt mention anyone, coz i've forgotten whether are you in the drink). the drink was freaking salty, spicy,icy and damm sour. Another version of Tom yam. Yuck and GROSS, and benevolent Ck offered me a cup of ice water, a cup flooded with ice cubes but without even a drop of h20(liquid state not solid state). Probably an act of vengeance for the fact that when he ordered holick peng, i said mo peng. Ok nevermind. Today was fruitful trip but kind of disappointed, nvm. Bye readers... WOO.. the Sun is rising :D. (that's not a mole, it's a fullstop)

Ran and ran and ran back home. Just kept running till i've forgotten what fatigue and stamina mean. Out of a blue, i was running in a short stretch of land outside the sport halls. Though it was the short distance from the starting to the ending, many thing flashed back. Those memories which remind me what i'm supposed to do, why i'm here, why i'm not capable, many many things seemed to have caught up back with me in such a short time. It was that my body was overpowered with static forces, many fears and angers were liberated. It was as though i've dashed past a tunnel of brimmed with guiding lights. The feeling of liberation within the core of my inner soul and i managed to grasp it.

I now understand what i'm supposed to do now, i've found your source of information, how it is leaked to you, why your pair of condescending eyes changes from mild to extreme. It all lies in one key. I'm gonna mould that key and prove to those shits out there ,who deemed me as someone who bound to fail, wrong. I will climb past this brick walls, walls after walls, not falling off even at a single one when i reach the pinnacles of them. I'm gonna prove you wrong. Prepare for my invasion with my holism, you pricks...

Monday
Yesterday was a stupefying and scorching day so much that my dick grew two pimples( just kidding). Anyway, went to mac and was grinning from ear to ear like what lecher will do as i was stepping closer and closer to the Mac-spicy meal, upsize like any normal wencheng will do, add cheese like any josephine does. HOWEVER, I WAS DISAPPOINTED, DARN (getting emotional). The chicken isnt as tender and soft as usual, not fleshy and so dry, failed to create a sensation within me, failed to make me erect like usual. (just kidding in case you thought for a moment if this is ko* h**'s blog.) Nothing particularly special about today besides sitting on the dirt ground.

Tuesday
Tried my best to be a good boy during Ms Sakena's lesson. Tried my best not to smile, but she gave me a look as though she's waiting for me to laugh. So as usual, i lost my composure and effort, laughing away hysterically. After her lesson, we went to make balloons and fold and blow and prick and squeeze and stuck and press and pinch and pump. Sounds wrong. However, tomorrow i'm kind of convinced that my pouty lips mouth will be shut tightly because.. haiz. never mind.

worth it?