every draft i've created for interactive and talking purposes just always boils down to failure. when can i just untie the fucking knot of embarrassment? the paper, the outing.. the..zzzz dumbass MUTE marcus, marcus, marcus indeed a letdown, failure and joke in everything. DICKHEAD

shy? i finally realise what it's like. it's when your cheeks were tensed up and burning non-stop, heart palpitating even faster with your entire body literally froze, hoping not to react by controlling your breathing pace, making you even more feverish with your lips quivering.. And how you would have wished for a hole to conceal your retarded face... An emotion which i was so curious about before and how i wished i've never found out now.. zzz felt so noob, retarded and coward..

yea 14more hours,excited, love you 144 ;D HAHA

Hey friend.. i mean stranger, after learning so much incidents that you've been into and despite these, you still have the cheek to put this as your pm:漫长的岁月里，我对你的思念从没减少过。即使我俩聚少离多，也没冲淡对你的感觉，而是加深我对你的思念。当你开心时，我也会莫名的开心。当你伤心难过，我的天空也会下起雨. This string of lines are sweet but probably you have completely misinterpreted the meaning behind these. It disgusts me seriously. Sorry if i'm being too frank and direct. Well, all i can say is that i'm truly appalled by what you have quoted (notice the word quoted instead of written). Why? Maybe that is what lingering around your mind right now. Well, because whatever you've done, have completely mismatched the idea of these sentences . This has given me a ball of time cracking in laughter(with an entertainment rate of 5/5)upon this contridiction, irony. Well, i've no comments nor controls over what you've been doing, BUT... all i can say is that doom spells before you and you gonna swallow all these dire consequences at one go. Why put it as your pm? For what purpose? To appear devoted/dedicated? Save it, there's absolutely no point in putting because you putting it for the sake of putting OR maybe you've forgotten to update your pm. Now it makes me wonder if the person is using the account daily really you? If so, all i can say is that you have a piece of extremely thick yet impenetrateable skin. And if you have completely no idea whether am i refering to you or not and is still scratching your dense,thick skull, shooting a quizzical look on the computer screen. All i can say is that save it. Because no one's going to see such hypocrisy as this post is already very direct. You know what you've been doing. Well if all the above fits whatever you are and you're ashamed about it, you read well because i'm making no apologies for it. No point forgiving, it just prevent my soul from being purified as another sin commited as accumulated on me.

Morning readers, lol cant get into sleep because i can stay awake. I am wide awake because i cant sleep. haha.. today seems to be a better day after ch sending me a damm hilarious link which wakes and jerks the core of my soul, exploding into peals of laughter.. haha can be viewed in karyl's blog. Then i realise, that link was a mother of all links of funny thai advertisements. Come to think of it, thais are rather innovative and funny. HAHA afterwards, went off to had supper with karyl and joel. Well, not really a supper because they werent the one eating.. kekex.. went to study and bt (bird talk). I've learnt something new today which is weesoon got fined $20 for crossing the road when the traffic light's red.. HAHAHAHA so suay. Okay, time to carry on what I've stopped.
- To achieve satisfaction in a simpler life and in order to derive meanings from your existence is to serve needs to people around you, your friends. Probably studying is a form of motivation in my life right now because i am able help people around me, bringing joy to pple's life hopefully and be even happier. learnt this from prata confidant. okay nvm. got to go. Have a nice day! ;D

Peace can be made when there are peaceful people with peaceful thoughts. Lol, attained peace? Hahahaha, yea undisturbed in heart, silent in soul, everything is seemingly spiralling down the way a quiet and regular life is,coming to an end. And not churning out of control violently. Everything is going so slowly, the breeze, the chirps, the light, the rain, the laughters, friends' voices BUT NOT.. THE BLOODY MOFO RESIDENT LIVING BELOW ME, FANCY SINGING A STUPID BIG DONKEY SONG OUT OF TUNE INCESSANTLY. THE MORE I HOWLED AND RAILED AT THE RESIDENTS, THE LOUDER AND MORE OUT OF TUNE THEY GOT.. DUMBASS.. haha got to go, buy yogurt and probably to the town council and lodge a complaint (just joking) and last but not least good luck for the "stress-free" prelims:)

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HAHA credited to yeeling for the pictures. Haha just feel like posting to dedicate my gratitude towards the pro ms chai for guiding me and distributing notes selflessly which enable me to earn my A2. haha sorry for gl-ing you for first the 1/2 year and thank you for the education and light you've given. You're the best chinese teacher anyone can ever be:)

my sincerest gratitude:)

i've lost two friends.
one's beyond redemption
the other, i'm to be blamed and certainly apologetic. it leaves me with no choice for the latter probably due to my selfishness, i seriously have no idea as i've lost my rationality. but i'm willing to help and be ur listening ear if needed, hoping that is still within the borders of possibility. tc

i'm gonna work all out with my clear eyes

anyway, does the problem lie with me or the others. It seems the acceptance of character is ebbing slowly and slowly, given criticism by the others. More disheartening when it emanates from the ones whom i thought understood me. Why am i in this world for? Was my existence ever once accepted and not despised. Should i change for the better and to please others or should i stay for who i am and continue frustrating others with my kiddish attitude, in order not to stay hypocritical.
I guess i've to change for the better since it's so restless and there's not fun to be derived from other moving objects. Whatever it is, my goals are riveted. .

don is gone, yea gone from my soul, heart and mind. i'm satisfied with this liberation..
it was destined and had already been let go

No human beings can resist the greed of not to stand at the pinnacle, to excel. Everyone is selfish by nature and will definitely commit some offences against their conscience and words, be it unconsciously or not. to achieve their goals. For such cases, no one can be blamed as these murderous, sly yet competitive nature instincts have longed ago been embedded deep in the very bones of ours. These souls are indeed very toxic and dangerous to be left standing. Yet, at the end of our limited energy, at the head-on with the jaw of death, we will know that we are the foolish people who pursue so much just to attain a title and recognition that will still not alter the life and death fate. Isn't happiness more important as this feeling will weave with our souls as compared to fames that fade in the afterlife. We are mere pawns of sky, for He to witness our greeds and the law of survival. Despite knowing that we ourselves are just pawns, we cant help but to be trapped and churned by this vicious cycle again and again, twirled around in His palm, not getting any further ahead. The perspectives and visions shared by the previous generation or whatsoever is always redundant no matter how credible and realistic they are.

Only those who had won the true and strongest opponent designated in life who are they themselves are truly the one who managed to escape the peril of the merciless cycle of greed. However, labelled as fool by the foolish, condescending, greedy human beings. These ignorant ones will be their obstacles, will tempt them to revert to their original voracious form. Nevertheless, these greedy beings assume the reality by what their visions are, unknowingly if their visions are true and credible to start with. Be it right or not, those who will truly know are the ones whom had won themselves whom had already managed to conquer their very own grotesque talons of greeds,desire and soul. They will experience the true and genuine sense of victory, achievement and liberation that is overwhelmed with security. Yet to reach such a level is truly difficult as most people are generally competitive and find exceeding others totally irresistible especially coupled with slyness, causing this pathetic cycle to continue going on and on and on . . .never coming to a halt.